Barron’s Buffett Barometer

Today we launch our new proprietary stock picking system: Barron’s Buffett Barometer, or B-Cubed (B³ for ease of reference). At its heart is one simple statistic: the number of times per week Warren Buffett, or Berkshire Hathaway, is mentioned in Barron’s magazine. We adjust that metric with several secret algorithms developed by the author of this blog. When the adjusted number shows a favorable trend (or "flashes green," as David Einhorn would say), we blindly follow Buffett’s stock purchases as reported to the entire world in the pages of Barron’s.

With The Sage of Omaha on our side, we cannot fail. Armed with this potent stock selection tool, we will beat the market. Stock exchanges will shudder as we  unleash this radical new investment approach upon the world. Billionaire portfolio managers will sit scowling and muttering impotently amidst the smoking ruins of their hedge funds, unable to understand what happened. High-frequency traders and dark pool aficionados will simply surrender the field and find new careers. 

 Some will say our system has no merit, that this information is available to everyone. They would have you believe the stock market is efficient. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our algorithms are proprietary, top-secret and have been back-tested exhaustively. When back-testing shows that the equations don't work, we modify them. As a result, we now have a forecasting system that accurately predicts what has already happened. 

Even more importantly, we have a subscription to Barron's. It arrives in our driveway every Sunday. Clad in our pyjamas, we retrieve it immediately. The market is closed on Sunday, but when it opens on Monday morning, we go into action. Unless there's something good on TV. Or we're feeling tired and decide to sleep late. There's always next week.